Believe it or not, YOU are the woman I desperately want to meet. You are the reason I’m writing this letter. There is so much I want to tell you and so much I want you to experience, but as the saying goes, you’ll have to see for yourself… and the choice is all yours. More than anything, I just want you to know that there is hope and a new life waiting for you on the other side. It is possible! I’m not at all attempting to minimize the tragedies, tough times and painful memories that I bet you know too well. I’ve been where you are, and I remember how hopeless I was… Sometimes it seems so dark that you can’t see past today. You feel so alone it’s as if there is not a single person in the entire world that you can trust. Maybe your destructive behavior has even turned into a game where you’re competing with yourself and others to see how ‘bad’ you can actually be. Somehow, the glamorous life you once wished for has become a nightmare, a twisted lie… and you feel trapped.
There is a way out. It may seem impossible, but your future can be bright… so bright that you’re captured by truth, love and hope. There can actually come a time where the destruction you once lived in will be a distant memory. You can reach a point that the unique and unconditional love you begin to know lifts you high above this world’s purpose for you and you find a purpose that is greater than anything you ever dreamed for yourself. Your addictions and obsessions will become less and your desires will become pure. Often, your needs and your desires will be met before you can even ask for them. This is something you have to experience for yourself because words cannot describe it, but I’m here to tell you this absolutely can be your reality if you begin to look to something greater than yourself.
If you’re in a dark, hopeless, lonely place… it’s a place that I knew all too well. Maybe you’re like me and you’ve spent a lot of time trying to convince yourself that the bad girl lifestyle is what you want, and the world won’t like you any other way. I’m here to break the silence and tell you how much of a lie that is. I will stand up for you, go against the majority of the world, and even become an outcast if it means that the truth I bring might save your life. If you think your body, social status and more money can bring you to a place where you’ll be satisfied, you bought into the world’s biggest lie. You can do better!
When I was lost and slowly killing myself, I had no one to shine light into my life. I want to give you what I didn’t have… I am here to act as a light for you. Girl, I’m living proof that once you step out of the darkness, the gift of your new life will light up the dark night like a firework. So step into the light and look my way for just a minute… I’m an open book.
Before I thought about you, your true worth and your purpose… before I was sent to come and find you… I was lost. I listened to the lies of the world from the time I was a little girl and I was tricked into believing that I would be carefree if I became more careless. I believed that I’d be rich inside if I only had more money. I believed that if I focused on finding the perfect man, he would love me so perfectly that all my problems would disappear… yet with each man it was my heart that actually began to disappear. These subtle lies almost killed me and they isolated me from what I should have believed in…
While I focused my energy on believing in anything but God, I pushed away all the good people in my life. I retaliated and became hardened, blaming my choices on the fact that I was neglected, abused, raped and manipulated. I put myself in situations where I could repeatedly be hurt because I was so used to it and it felt normal to me. This only made it easier for me to justify hurting and manipulating others. I coped with everything by drinking, fighting, using drugs, and having sex. My body was a dumping ground and my mind had become toxic.
At my lowest point I was using drugs every day, anything I could get a hold of. My body’s nourishment was alcohol. I was bi-sexual and addicted to sex. I became an escort and a drug dealer. I was on probation in three different cities at one point and in over my head with legal problems. My list of friends was dwindling as they betrayed me and I manipulated them. I was hopeless, filled with despair, and saw no way out. I was an empty shell and I thought the only answer was to go harder and hope the money and drugs would make it all bearable. I was in complete darkness.
My mind was filled with lies and I believed them all.
God sent me a light… a baby boy. I saw how bright the light was and for the first time I ran towards it and didn’t look back.
I hope to be that light for you. I pray hard to remember the pain I felt. I never want to forget where I was… not one miserable detail. This reminds me that miracles were performed to transform me into the woman I am today. I can see myself in you and it brings me to love you more. The love I have for YOU is a gift given to me from God. Once I accepted Jesus into my life, this gift began to fill my heart and it grows every day. This real love can be yours, too. It isn’t available only to a select few. It’s free for anyone willing to unwrap it.
God is waiting patiently to give you the gift that has been waiting for you all these years. He knows everything about you and isn’t ashamed, disappointed or angry with you… He desperately wants you to open your heart to Him.
I hope that I personally have a chance to meet every one of you who this letter has touched. It’s my desire to walk next to you through trials, challenges, victories and miracles. I want to cry with you, and I most definitely want to laugh with you! I pray that I can get to know you so I can share with you the hope that I have found buried in the darkness of this world. You have a purpose to serve, but it’s not to serve those that you’re serving now… It’s to serve the Most High, the one who is above all the rest. True love does exist, but it won’t be found where you’ve been looking. Listen to Him calling your name…He’s written it on the palm of His hand. (Isaiah 49:16)
PS: Call me! (216) 264-9167